You might think you have been on some bad dates but this one really tops them all. A drunken one-night-stand ended in disaster for a man who woke up to find his lover’s name carved into his arm. She was found guilty of one charge of unlawful wounding at Preston Crown Court, following a two-day trial.
This little tidbit was found in a profile from eHarmony, I think it would be better left for a later point of the relationship?
Don’t be mad at me cause I experimented with man to man sex when I was in my 20’s. I was very horny and wanted to know what it was like to have a man’s genitals in my mouth or be penetrated, so I could have an indication of what it’s like for you. I had thought, wrongly, that it would make me a better man. I made a mistake.
From the soon to be published - Being Single, The Truth, The Real Truth!
Chapter 2 - Online Dating brings High-Tech Love right to your computer screen
I am a busy middle-aged man with two children and a demanding work-at-home job. What better way for me to find love that the new and improved high-tech way, online dating?
I can date available women from all over the world in my underwear from the comfort of my own home! Wow, what a concept!! Now I just need to choose the right dating service, let’s see, women of Russia? No, too far away, and some might still be commies! Women of Africa? Too far away and I might be a little afraid of some of their tribal customs. Get a date tonight with local single women? Now that sounds right, but they are all blond bombshells and it costs $5.00 per minute, something else must be going on here. Wait now I have hit the jackpot, Laba Life the place where disconcerting singles meet. I had no idea if I was disconcerting but to list my profile was free and it only took two hours to complete the survey questions!
Here is a list of internet dating terms and what they really mean (what a man writes and what it really means)
“40-ish”: Over 50 and looking for a 25 year-old
“Athletic”: Watches a lot of sports on TV
“Average looking”: Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
“Educated”: Will patronize you all the time
“Free Spirit”: Will bang anything that moves
“Friendship first”: As long as friendship involves sex
“Good looking”: Arrogant
“Very good looking”: Dumb as a board
“Honest”: Pathological Liar
“Huggable”: Overweight and hairy like a bear
“Likes to cuddle”: Insecure mama’s boy
“Mature”: Older than your father
“Open-minded”: Wants to have threesomes with your friends
“Physically fit”: Does a lot of beer can curls
“Poet”: Wrote ex-girlfriend’s phone number on a bathroom stall
“Sensitive”: Cries if you want him to go see a chick flick
“Very sensitive”: Gay, just wants to procreate
“Spiritual”: Got laid in a cemetery once
“Stable”: Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
“Thoughtful”: Says “Excuse me” when he farts







